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Sorrowful Laika

published: 8-11-2019

 

ever so recently, everywhere given advice
to abandon the restless hopes, desires yearning to abandon my vices
for a better world beyond this veil
or one on this earthly plane, ready, and I just need a sail

lie down
and sink into the grass
and appreciate these fleeting days you have left

close your eyes
and try not to think
of the family of which you've been bereft

but in my dreams, when found a rare safe place
I turn my head, and there I see your face
soft smile, loving eyes, open welcoming arms
that once pledged to keep me safe from a big wide world of harms

in my heart lives seventy years of unlived regrets
but just like we promised, I refuse to forget

but the more I think about it, the more pragmatic it seems
because the more my furtive fingers snatch in the air for dreams
the more the memories slip through the cracks
abandoned on the shores of time, gone with a nimble thief's hacks

cut yourself down
into something so small
a nuisance to nobody
become nothing at all.

this is the daughter's fate.

for what could persuade me to flee from Mother's love
than the divine request of someone up above?

to finally have an excuse
to say to someone amused,
confused as to why I'm on the lam,
"You have no need to know who I am."